I'm having a kid

I’m going to be a dad. Wow, that is still a wild statement to say.

I want to capture my early thoughts and the decision that now was the right time. This will be less gushy and more about the logic and thought process I went through. Not enough people talk about this, so hopefully it’s helpful.

As someone deeply ambitious, I struggled to imagine a “right” time. I’m a planner. I like control. I’d always told myself I needed to hit certain milestones first, to reach a place with enough financial and time flexibility to be truly present for my child.

However, after talking with my parents and others who’ve been through it, I realized how unrealistic that mindset was. Now is actually the perfect time. I’m 25 with energy to spare and healthy parents nearby who want to help.

And while I’m in the thick of my career, if there’s ever a time to work your ass off while raising kids, it’s when they’re little. My parents worked incredibly hard when I was a baby to build a life for us. And I turned out fine.

The beauty of doing it now is you can embrace the chaos. They won’t remember the sleepless nights, but they’ll grow up knowing you were there.

I also want to be young and able-bodied when my kids are older. I want to coach their sports teams, go on adventures with them, and actually keep up. Starting now means I’ll be in my 40s when they’re graduating high school, not my 50s or 60s.

I’ve also let go of the guilt around working hard while raising kids. It’s not just okay for your children to watch you work hard, it’s necessary. Kids learn what they see. There’s no shame in building something while being a parent, as long as you’re intentional about it. Presence isn’t about quantity of hours. It’s about being fully there when you are there.